


Can't Help Falling (Asleep With You)

by Too_Punk_Rock_To_Function



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Boys In Love, Cuddling, Cute, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, M/M, Nightmares, Sad Cuddling, Slow Burn, it's like really cute, its super gay, much fluff, no really, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:19:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7944523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Too_Punk_Rock_To_Function/pseuds/Too_Punk_Rock_To_Function
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler couldn't sleep most nights.<br/>That was obvious, with his brain always switched on and when he did fall asleep it was dreams running through his head, with crazy visions and nightmares filled with dread.<br/>But he would sleep.</p><p>And what he didn't notice until they were finally out of the van and into a real tour bus, was that Josh didn't sleep.<br/>Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Regional At Best (I)

It wasn't as noticeable in the van, all those years ago.

  
Tyler feels like he would have known if Josh was awake because, well.

  
He was always awake.

  
He was lucky if he got four hours of sleep a night and some naps during the day.

  
He got better, as the years went on.

  
In fact, he got so used to the gentle rocking of the van as it moved, that when he went back home he actually couldn't sleep.

  
So now they had a bus and the rocking wasn't as noticeable, but it still lulled him to sleep easier and reduced his nightmares.

  
But only a little bit.

  
The first night Tyler saw Josh wasn't asleep, was when they were in the van.

  
They had parked at the venue, were out the back, everything was quite and perfect sleeping conditions.

  
But it had been a pretty big crowd and Tyler had been anxious about going out and had avoided looking at the crowd for as long as possible, trying to get himself lost in the music.  
It had worked for the most part and he only had to look at Josh drumming is heart out to know that he was gonna be okay.

  
After all, if Josh could do it, who had some of the worst anxiety he'd ever seen on a boy, why couldn't he?

  
They had sold fourteen CDs though, so that was cool.

  
But he was nervous and had a bad dream and he'd rolled over and saw Josh sitting up and staring out the back window.

  
"Josh?"

  
He had whispered. Josh turned around and smiled awkwardly.

  
They weren't really the best of friends back then as they were now, but it was the early stages of their relationship and they were testing the waters so when Josh had asked him,

  
"Nightmares?"

  
Tyler had nodded, despite not wanting to, but if they were gonna be in this band they had to learn to trust each other and if telling Josh that sometimes he didn't sleep because his nightmares would keep him up for hours thinking about it to the point where he was too terrified to even breathe too quickly and too petrified to get up an turn a light on, then that was just something he would have to do.

  
Josh smiled and nodded.

  
He ran a hand through his shaggy dark brown hair, white gauges shining dimly in the passing cars lights.

  
He rubbed the stubble on his jaw, then his neck and Tyler could just catch a tiny hole under the middle of his bottom lip.

  
_Huh, he must've had a piercing there before joining the band_.

  
And that's when Tyler realised he didn't know a lot about Josh Dun.

  
The stranger that wasn't asleep when he woke up.

  
"I get 'em too sometimes,"

  
Josh had said quietly.

  
Tyler raised an eyebrow at him, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he sat up. Josh turned back toward the window before mumbling,

  
"When I was a kid, I thought the moon followed our car as we drove. And when I figured out that it didn't, I told my sisters and they cried for three hours,"

  
Tyler didn't know why he was saying this, but he smiled and appreciated that Josh was trying to make him feel better, even though they barely knew each other and huffed out a laugh.

  
"When I was a kid, I told my little brother Zack that I was actually an alien that was inside his brother and that one day I was going to abduct him and throw him into space to explode,"

  
Josh laughed quietly. 

  
Tyler thought he had a nice laugh, even if it was quiet and tired. Tyler didn't know why he was telling Josh this. But something about Josh, maybe it was his sweet smile, maybe it was his eyes squinching sleepily as he listened, maybe it was the fact that he actually seemed to care. But Tyler wanted to tell Josh lots of things. About his family. His failed basketball career. His tattoos. His dumb stories. And he suddenly wanted to know a lot of things about Josh.

  
"When I was a kid, my parents introduced me to my baby sister Abbie and the first thing I said was that her name was stupid. My parents asked me what I wanted her to be called and I said that 'she should be a Spaghetti', because she 'looked like a noodle',"

  
Tyler shook his head, a smile on his face.

  
"Really?"

  
He asked through his laughter. Josh nodded, watching Tyler shift to face him.

  
"When I was a kid, I used to 'braid' my sisters hair, by doing a simple plait and putting a clip on the end. She thought that was how you did it up until her last year of middle school,"

  
Josh grinned.

  
And they did that until they fell asleep.

  
Or at least Tyler fell asleep.

  
And when he woke up, with his head resting on Josh's shoulder and mumbling several apologies to which Josh just grinned and said,

  
"It's okay Tyler, really. It was a long night y'know. Discovering the moon doesn't follow the car and that braiding hair is actually pretty complex and such,"

  
And Tyler laughed, it wasn't that funny, but he was exhausted from the lack of sleep and weirdly vitalised, so he laughed, his head falling back on Josh's shoulder as Mark and the other guys looked at each other, exchanging looks and trying their best to hide grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just my narcoleptic, insomnia afflicted mind wanting to write a cute story about two happy boys in love.
> 
> Please enjoy


	2. Regional At Best (II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING
> 
> Tyler does have a panic attack in this one, so I am sorry, it's not very bad, but if you're easily triggered, I'm just warning you

The second time Tyler noticed Josh's odd sleeping patterns were when they were driving at night, about four weeks later.

They'd become a lot closer since that night, learnt a lot about each other, past the basics. Past the typical, " _What's your birthday?_ ", " _Favourite colour?_ " and " _Where did you live?_ " Questions.

Tyler could tell you that Josh came off as confident. But he wasn't really, he was actually quite shy. Tyler could tell you that Josh's family didn't like him listening to music as a kid, so he'd sneak down to the music store and ask the scariest guy there what their favourite artist/album was. Then he'd buy it and hide it under his bed. He could tell you that when Josh's mum found Green Days " _Dookie_ " under his bed, she grounded him for a month.

He could also tell you that Josh had two sisters and a brother. He could also tell you that his Momma made the best pie in all the world, so good that they never had any let for the next day. He could also tell you that he was a total nerd back in school, was the opposite of popular and sucked at all sports, despite all his muscle from drumming.

Not that Tyler was _looking_ at his muscle from drumming. No. He just _assumed_ that Josh had muscle from drumming. You know.

Because drumming took up a lot of effort. Yeah, that's it. It was hard smashing things to create the sound you wanted. Especially the way Josh would play. Like if he didn't break a drumstick or a drum it wasn't a good show.

 _Not_ that Tyler was paying very close attention to the way Josh would drum. Where did you get that idea?

But what Tyler is trying to say is that they'd grown closer.

So when Tyler had fallen asleep the moment his head hit the pillow at ten o'clock, he was thankful.

Until the nightmares came.

He was standing on stage, holding a microphone. He was singing to an empty arena.

" _You say things with your mouth_ ,"

The words were too slow. His voice sounded like he was talking underwater. His voice sounded like it wasn't even attached to him. Like he was listening to a recording of it playing somewhere no where near him.

" _Cob webs and flies come out_ ,"

A person slumped into the arena, stopping just in front of him. Their eyes were white and cloudy, their skin translucent pale, the veins too blue.

" _I hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow_ ,"

The arena was filling with seemingly almost zombie like people, not singing along, not moving or breathing, just watching him.

He could feel the sweat beading on his forehead as something moved in the middle of the crowd, knocking them all over.

" _Luckily I can read your mind_ ,"

Tyler had stopped singing, and began to step over the bodies to go to the centre of them, where the commotion had happened.

And suddenly a hand was on his ankle, tripping him over once he got to the middle. He screamed, but no sound came out. He tried to pull away but the hand was almost as though it was glued down, attached to him somehow.

One of the bodies raised its head, eyes glowing white and Tyler screamed again.

Suddenly he was surrounded by strangers, all with eyes glowing wide, zombie like stares and skin.

Soon they started looking like his parents, he could see that it was Zack holding his ankle. Mark was leering above him, jaw unhinged. And Josh was standing on the stage, unmoving but eyes not glowing.

And ice cold hands were touching his arms, his chest, his legs, his face, his neck, _his everywhere._

Suddenly they started whispering.

Words _he_ had written. The phrases mixing together and Tyler was screaming.

" _My tree house is on fire_ ,"

" _So bold and fearless in the risks we take_ ,"

" _Pointless curse, nonsense verses_ ,"

" _While ceiling fans and idle hands will take my life again_ ,"

" _We're going too fast, fast, save us_ ,"

And Tyler was screaming and it was too much and he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. They were getting too loud, too close. It seemed like there was more of them appearing, their sunken eyes glowing, the lights from the stage jittering and exploding with a loud shatter, showering him in hot glass. He could feel it in his throat and burning his skin and _this is too much._

He awoke with a start, grabbing onto the nearest thing and trying his best not to scream.

He was shaking, it was dark, the lights zoomed past the windows too fast. He could hear the lights shattering, could feel zombie Mark looming over him, feel zombie Zack's iron grip on his ankle.

He could feel their hands on him, like ice dancing across his skin. He could feel them tugging at his clothes and hair and clawing, scratching, hurting him and _he couldn't breathe_.

"Tyler? Are you okay?"

 _The under water voice is back,_ Tyler thought uselessly.

There was a hand on his neck, that was the only possible reason why he couldn't breathe. He needed to get it off, but something was holding his arm down and the lights were smashing.

"Tyler! Tyler, look at me, come on, open your eyes please,"

A soft voice was talking, it was different to the monotone voices chanting his words back at him. It was filled with emotion.

"Hey, come on, please look at me, I know I'm ugly, but God,"

Tyler opened his eyes and there was a face above his and as they went past a light post, it illuminated half of the face and Tyler could only just make the person out.

"J-Josh?"

The face nodded at the words Tyler choked out.

"Focus on me Tyler, focus on me,"

And Tyler tried, _he did_ , but he could feel the hands on his body and the voices shouting his words and he shook his head to try and make them stop. He screwed his eyes together and his chest was _too tight_.

"Tyler, open your eyes,"

And Tyler didn't want to, but he did. And he was met with the face again and he _didn't see glowing eyes._

"They're everywhere,"

"Who Tyler?"

The voice asked softly and Tyler could feel a hand playing with his hair softly, it was _tickling_ him and he focused on that, because it wasn't like the other hands, the hands that were rough and trying to _hurt_ him.

"Glowing eyes, they, they-"

He broke off and tried to bring in a breath, but _it hurt._

"Breathe with me Tyler, breathe with me,"

And suddenly he felt a warmth hovering above him and the person had picked his hand up and placed it on a flat surface. It started moving and Tyler was freaking out but then he heard slow heavy breaths and assumed it was the person breathing. So he copied them and focused on the hand in his hair.

Soon there was a soft melody playing somewhere, just like someone humming and it might have been _Fergalicious_ but that didn't matter because he found the voice very soothing.

He could feel himself calming down, the tears that he hadn't noticed dripping from his eyes making the pillow wet underneath him.

He pulled his hand away to wipe the remaining tears and opened his eyes to see Josh hovering above him, face filled with concern, biting his lip (which was, Tyler deemed, too inappropriate to be doing right then), playing with his hair and humming softly and breathing deeply.

"Th-Thank you J-osh,"

Tyler had stumbled out. Josh had smiled at him and had moved to get off of him and roll over to the other side, when a suddenly brave (or incredibly terrified) part of him reached out with a hand on Josh's bicep.

"S-stay,"

Josh tilted his head and Tyler felt stupid because he was stupid, and that dream was stupid, but Josh had saved him, saved him from the Glowing Eyes, Josh was stupid, everything was stupid and he wanted Josh to stay.

No matter how stupid he felt.

"P-please,"

And Josh stared at him for a minute and Tyler thought that Josh would laugh at him and roll over, but he turned back and laid down facing him, eyes searching his face.

And Tyler kept his hand on Josh's bicep (ignoring how hard it was, not that he noticed it strength in the first place) and laid down next to him.

Josh smiled and the lamp post they passed by next made his right eye twinkle and left the other half of his face in darkness and Tyler couldn't help but think he was very pretty, (but that was _probably_ just the aftermath of the nightmare talking)

So they stayed like that, for hours, Tyler's hand gripping Josh's bicep tightly, which he didn't seem to mind, just listening to each other breathing. Occasionally Josh would hum something, or Tyler would burrow deeper into the blanket, but eventually Tyler drifted off, to the words of Josh telling him to have,

" _Sweet Dreams_ ,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had a dream like this and I was so scared I couldn't sleep for three days, or talk to anyone in my dream for about that time.
> 
> I literally have the worst sleep schedule


	3. Regional At Best (III)

The third time it happened, Tyler had been lying awake for hours in a crappy hotel bed, anxiety creeping up on him, when he heard shuffling outside his door.

He got up, stepping over Mark and his brother who had surprised them by coming to their show that night, and even getting up to rap his part in Kitchen Sink which Tyler thought was really awesome.

He would be travelling with them now, or at least until they got closer to home.

Tyler carefully opened the door and wandered into the crappy living room and looking around.

Josh was no where to be seen, so he went to the kitchen.

Josh was laying across the counter, Rice Krispies open next to him and a packet of skittles laying across his stomach.

Tyler watched in amusement as Josh took a sip of milk from one of the little milk cartons Hotels always seem to supply, before shovelling a hand full of the Krispies into his mouth.

Tyler coughed from the doorway and watched as Josh shot up, the skittles flying off his stomach and the cereal almost tipping off the counter.

Josh had a hand to his chest and a startled look on his face.

"Sorry,"

Tyler mumbled, moving to sit down on a creaky chair.

"No, it's okay. . . You just scared me is all,"

Tyler smiled and shuffled in his chair before looking up to an expectant Josh holding out his box of cereal.

"Want some?"

"Uh, sure,"

Tyler reached in to grab a handful and Josh tossed him a milk carton. Tyler held both in his hands before looking at Josh with a slightly distressed look. Josh laughed,

"Milk first, cereal later, trust me, I speak from experience,"

Tyler narrowed his eyes playfully, before taking a sip of milk,

"More milk, that's a lot of cereal you've got here Tyler,"

He sucked more milk into his mouth, before tipping his head back and dropping the cereal in. He almost sighed about how good it was with out having to be jostled around and drinking it out of the bag.

"'S 'lly g'd"

He tried to say around a mouthful of cereal. Josh nodded and took his next mouthful.

"Now why do I have to have milk first? And why was it so terrible?"

Tyler asks with a grin, reaching forward to take another handful as Josh groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"Okay, so when I was a kid, I would only eat cereal, but I hated dishes, because spoons were to small,"

Tyler smiled, placing a few pieces in his mouth without milk and listening to Josh talk quietly,

"And I, being the wonderfully bright child that I was, I thought 'Hey, what if I just put it in my mouth and added milk? That way my face is like a bowl?' So that's what I did. I put the cereal in my mouth, pretty sure it was cornflakes, and went to suck some milk through a straw. Which is all well and good, except I had all this dry cereal in my mouth, that went straight down my throat as I sucked in,"

Tyler laughed loudly as Josh pouted.

"Oh how traumatic,"

"It was! I was blowing cornflakes and milk out of my nose for the next week!"

Tyler giggled again, covering his mouth with a hand to try and stifle them.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You'll be thankful you'll never have to go through the Cornflake Incident,"

"Oh my God! You gave it a name and everything!"

Tyler couldn't help it. It was three in the morning, Josh was sitting there with a big dopey grin on his face, making Tyler laugh. He leaned over and kissed Josh's cheek, watching as his cheeks turn red.

"Wh-What was t-that for?"

"I don't know. . . Whenever I can't sleep you always seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better, so, I guess, that was a thank you?"

Tyler said awkwardly, his cheeks now flushing. Josh ran a hand through his fluffy brown hair, a small proud smile on his lips as he stuttered out,

"Th-Thanks. . . Anytime?"

Tyler felt his blush deepen as he'd already kissed his band mate, he may as well blurt his next words any way.

"Hopefully you'll stay to keep that promise?"

Tyler asked, refusing to look at Josh, doubt creeping into his stomach at the thought of his old band mates leaving and how terrified he was that Josh would do the same. He didn't think he would be able to handle losing Josh.

Josh's hand was on his jaw, tilting his head up gently so Tyler had no choice but to look at him.

"Hopefully, if you don't kick me out?"

Tyler bit his lip to hide his grin.

"Maybe,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Cornflake Incident is actually based on my real life experiences, except it happened when I was fourteen, so it's a lot more embarrassing seeing as I cried for like three hours.
> 
> Cornflakes up the nose really hurt okay.
> 
> Does everyone like it so far? It's kinda set in the Regional At Best days, so excuse the fact that Josh has uncoloured hair.


	4. Regional At Best (IV)

The fourth time Tyler noticed Josh's sleeping habits was after a show they, had played they should have been tired, but it was the last show they had played on that short tour.

Him and Josh had played a pretty big show, seeing as the tour had ended so close to home (only about an hour away from Columbus, after travelling about six weeks around the states).

And they were so pumped, the crowd had been of enough people to actually be able to be heard over the drums, they were pretty loud. Like, overbearingly loud. But it was so good. And Tyler had climbed a thing and he was singing above and looking at the crowd and Josh had taken his shirt off and that was even better. (But Tyler wasn't looking, no, the fans thought it was better, obviously).

So they were more than a little high with adrenaline and endorphins pumping through their veins, intoxicating their skin and taking control of their minds.

And it was raining, but neither of them cared, they were running through it, not a care in the world.

"That was so amazing!"

"I know! Oh my God!"

Josh was spinning in the rain, his hair plastered to his forehead, the dim light from the street light illuminating only parts of his face as he twirled around.

"Guys! Get out of the rain!"

"Shut up Mark!"

"Yeah Mark! Shut up!"

Tyler giggled as Josh reached out and grabbed his hand.

Tyler gave him a look as Josh grabbed his other hand and started spinning the a round.

"Come on Ty!"

So Tyler joined him and they were spinning around so fast, they were holding onto each other to make sure they didn't fall over, hands slipping from the rain, hands trying to grip tighter.

They were laughing and Josh's hands were so warm, even in the cold chill of the rain.

Water was soaking off of Josh's eyelashes and Tyler was trying hard not to stare, but Josh looked so pretty, drenched in water, coloured hair hanging limp, eyes wide and twinkling from the lamp light and the tiny glittering stars in the sky.

Josh was looking at Tyler with so much emotion, so much excitement, he looked like a little puppy, bouncing around.

He let go of Tyler's hands and Tyler tried his best not to miss the warmth, but felt just as happy as Josh started spinning around, swinging around he lamp post.

"Guys come on! You'll catch a cold!"

"Shut up Mark!"

"Yeah Mark! Shut up!"

They heard an exasperated Mark sigh, but they didn't care.

They didn't care that they were gonna be so cold for the rest of the night.

They didn't care that there was no hot shower waiting for them to warm up.

They didn't care that Mark was watching them with a knowing smile.

They didn't care that they would have to get back in the cramped van.

They didn't care that the rain was chilling them to the bone.

They didn't care about the looks they were getting from the people in the Taco Bell across from them.

What they did care about was each other.

And the fact that they'd done it.

They had played the best show ever.

Josh came back to Tyler and started dancing around him, kicking up puddles and suddenly started singing.

"I stretched my hands out to the sky,  
We danced with monsters through the night!"

Tyler recognised it and started shouting it with him.

"I'm never gonna look back,  
Whoa, I'm never gonna give it up,  
No, please don't wake me now!"

And Josh took his hand again, another hand snaking around his waist as they dance din the rain.

Tyler ignored his blush and pushed Josh back, twirling under his arm. They bounced around, shouting the words to an American Authors song and revelling in the moment. Josh's hand in his, their voices getting lost in the rain, dancing with Josh, feeling his heat, feeling his chest pressed against his, feeling his stomach pressed against his own, feeling their thighs touch, the rush from the concert still present.

Tyler hoped that it would always be like this.

That they'd always be like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one was cute and really fun to write.


	5. Regional At Best [End] (V)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING
> 
> He has a nightmare in this and (sort of???) a panic attack. But it's not too bad.

The fifth time, Tyler was just hanging at Josh's house. He had stayed up playing Mariokart until twelve in the morning and then they had talked. Talked about everything and nothing all at once. Talked for hours, Tyler eventually drifting off at somewhere around three in the morning.

Tyler was in a field.

There was trail of fire next to him, gasoline on the ground, lighting a small circle of fire around him.

He sits down in the blaze and closes his eyes, smelling gasoline and smoke and fire. He hears the crackling sound that comes from fire. He opens his eyes seconds later to the field burnt to ash, he trees lining the side all dead and burnt.

He stands up and looks around, unconcerned because he feels as though he's seen this millions of times before.

He began walking, bare feet kicking up dust and ash and he tried his best not to breathe it in.

Wiping his hands on his jeans before stuffing them in his pockets, watching his feet and the cuff's of his jeans get layered in ash.

Fire raged behind him, immense heat at his back.

Suddenly he heard a scream. His head shot up as he tried to locate it.

The voice screamed again, to his right. It filled his brain and it felt like it was splitting in half. He stumbled and took off running.

The screaming got louder and louder and Tyler was sprinting.

He finally fell in the ash, looking up at a tree house.

The tree house was on fire and there was someone inside, screaming in agony.

Tyler screamed out to the voice,

" _Jump! Get out of there!_ "

But the person kept screaming. Kept screaming and the house started creaking and snapping and _oh my god._

It fell.

The sound it made when it hit the ground was not there.

Everything was silent.

The fires stopped crackling.

The voice stopped screaming.

His breath was no longer loud in his own ears.

A cloud of ash rose up around him and he covered his face with his shirt, blocking out the cloud.

Once it settled he rushed toward it, pushing burning planks and coughing at smoke.

He was about to give up when he saw a flash of light blue.

He'd know that colour anywhere.

" _Josh_ ,"

He breathed, running, tripping, launching over the remains of the tree house.

" _No_ ,"

He shoved a plank off of Josh, his face covered in thick ash, his blue hair dusted white with it. His clothes were burnt in place, skin missing and bloody in others. He pulled him from the carcass of the burning treehouse, only just noticing the water dropping in his sight.

It brushed his friend's face, clearing tracks of clean skin as it slid.

" _No_ ,"

He shook Josh.

" _No, Josh, come back_ ,"

Josh wouldn't move.

He pressed an ear to Josh's chest, listening for a heart beat.

" _No, don't-don't do this, Josh I_ -"

He broke off and let out a choked off scream.

"- _I need you, dammit!_ "

"Tyler,"

 _"Josh come back! I'll do anything!_ "

"Tyler,"

" _Pl-Please!_ "

"Tyler!"

He awoke with a start, sitting up and looking around.

He _wasn't_ in a forest.

He _wasn't_ surrounded by flames.

Josh _wasn't_ dead in his arms.

But he _wasn't_ on the couch.

"Josh?"

He turned his head, but everything was dark.

"Josh!? Josh-wh-where are you!?"

"Tyler, I'm right here,"

A phone screen lit up dully from the ground, Josh's tired face blinking at him with concern. Tyler couldn't stop the tears that fell as a sense of _oh my god he's safe_ fell over him.

He flung himself at Josh, knocking the phone from his grasp with a clatter. Josh fell back in surprise, making an ' _oof_ ' sound as they landed. Tyler didn't care, he started sobbing into Josh's chest.

Soon big arms wrapped around him, a hand going into his hair and running through it.

It was soothing, in a weird way. Normally he didn't like people touching his hair.

But the way Josh was rubbing small circles into the small of his back, pressing him close. The way he ran his fingers over his short hair on the back of his head, holding his head close to his chest. The way he was saying methodical things in a sweet soft voice.

Tyler cried harder, holding him even closer if that was possible.

"What happened Ty?"

"You-You were in a tr-treehouse-"

He broke off, moving his face to Josh's neck and bruins his nose in his collar bone, inhaling Josh's scent. He smelt like his unscented soap (that Tyler knew had a smell, even if it was _"unscented"_ ), his weird deodorant that didn't smell like axe (which _is_ great) and he could smell a tiny bit of the conditioner he uses (something about pink guava, spring sugar from the mountains Fiji and the fourth tear of a _lion_ , or _something_ as equally _ridiculous_ ).

Josh adjusted their position, letting Tyler fall in between his legs, wrapping his ankle around Tyler's own and leaving the other leg bent. He tilted his neck out, giving more access to his neck and breathed calmly, letting Tyler take his time.

He felt bad, drooling and snoting and crying all over Josh, but the other boy would only tighten his grip when Tyler tried to move away.

"You were in a treehouse. . . it was on fire. And you were screaming. And I-I tried to help-I did, but I was too late. You fell and you were-you were dead. I'm sorry Josh, I'm so _sorry_ ,"

Josh just made a soothing ' _shush_ ', rubbing his back.

"It's not your fault Ty, you can't control your subconscious,"

"I could have done something though, I just stood there-"

"-Shh, relax Ty, it's okay,"

After some silence, Tyler mumbled against Josh's skin, too tired,

"Thank you,"

"Anytime Ty, go to sleep,"

He let his head drop onto Josh's chest, surprisingly soft despite how hard it looked. And he fell asleep to Josh's watchful eyes, uneven breathing and gentle rhythm being tapped out on his back.

And if he woke up, _entirely too happy_ , wrapped around a soft smiling Josh, with bags under his glittery dark brown eyes, rumpled blue hair and bad breath, he convinced himself he wasn't falling in love.

He _wasn't_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :P


	6. Vessel [Prologue] (I)

The sixth time he noticed was when it was five in the morning. Michael was due to come and get them at five-thirty because the studio opened at seven and they had a long drive ahead of them. Tyler was probably going to regret it in half an hours time, but he had almost gotten this finished and perfect.

Josh had drifted off (at least he _thought_ Josh had drifted off) at around ten and Tyler had stayed up with his keyboard on his knees, his phone plugged in illuminating the board and a piece of paper littered with scrawled words.

He had headphones plugged into the keyboard as he tried to play it again. Everything was going well but he got up to the bit that was wrong and he couldn't help it.

He smashed his hands against it noisily, listening to the horrible notes collide before resting his head against the bed and sighing what he though was softly.

"What's up Ty?"

Tyler startled at the soft voice coming from the other corner of the bad hotel room. After bringing his breathing back to normal from the unexpected voice he responded, voice laced with frustration,

"So I wrote this and uh, I can't quite get this one part right. I didn't wake you did I?"

Josh looked at Tyler from the hotel bed, bags under his eyes. Tyler stared back and watched as Josh slowly pulled off the cover and stumbled over to him. Tyler was _not_ watching his bare shoulders move and the muscles around his ribs twist as he breathed. He _wasn't_ wishing he could run his hands over the smooth skin of his best friend.

He sat next to him, pulling the other side of the keyboard over his lap.

"You didn't wake me, couldn't sleep,"

Tyler narrowed his eyes. He's heard that excuse a little too often, but he brushes it off because Tyler totally understands insomnia.

"Let's hear what you've got,"

Tyler sighed and moved to turn on the lamp, but Josh reached a hand out and grabbed his hand. Tyler tried his best not to blush in the dim light of the phone and looked into Josh's starless eyes.

Tyler didn't see stars when he looked in Josh's eyes, nor did he see galaxies or something as equally as _cheesy_.

He saw emotion and gloss and fields of death and sadness and hope and light and so much _more_ then just stars.

Josh was an ancient tablet written in some old obscure and dead language and the key to understanding that were through his eyes. Soulful, starless, clear, flickering, clouded and dark all at the same time.

And Tyler would spend all his life wondering what the glint deep in them meant. He would spend his days querying what that one symbol meant in the confusing language of his tableted ways was.

Josh would always be a puzzle.

He motioned to the piano, not once breaking eye contact, watching Tyler's movements intently as he got his fingers in the correct position in the limited light that the phone offered.

He played a soft, flowing tune and saw from the corner of his eyes Josh's starless eyes close.

And Tyler played and got to the bit that didn't sound quite right and Josh opened his eyes again.

"You don't like that bit?"

Tyler's hands played a different tune as he nodded and Josh asked to see the words.

His pretty eyes skimmed the page, tracing each letter with a smooth jerk of his pupils.

"Sing this part to me,"

He mumbled softly and Tyler watched to where he was pointing and held his breath.

"We're broken,  
We're broken,  
We're broken people,  
We're broken people,"

Josh watched his mouth make the words, forming and Tyler felt his stomach twist as he looked back at Josh's.

"Again, please?"

Tyler felt a small smile come on his lips as he started singing them softly like a lullaby.

Josh touched his arm and Tyler felt goosebumps rise as he gently trailed his hands up and down, tickling and tracing where his tattoos were.

"You have such a pretty voice,"

Tyler faulted and Josh motioned for him to keep going.

"I'm standing in front of you,"

He was singing it way slower then he was supposed to, but the look in Josh's eye, he couldn't bring himself to sing it faster, afraid to break the strange calm that was twisting around them and clouding their brains.

"I'm trying to be so cool,"

Josh pushed the keyboard off of him and pushed him back, so that his back was touching the bed. A leg threw itself over Tyler's lap and he felt his eyes widen as Josh hovered above him, legs straddling his thighs, hands cupping his material covered hips, either drawing Tyler's hips closer to his own, or bringing his own closer to Tyler's. He couldn't tell.

Tyler felt his eyes go impossibly wider as he looked up at Josh's face, eyes trailing everywhere. From the silvery blue of his hair, to the pretty brown of his eyes to the honeyed pink of his lips.

"Everything together,"

Josh's hand trailed across his collar bone and one trailed up his neck resting on his jaw, the other wrapping around the back of his neck. Tyler's hands had gotten some minds of their own and snaked their way around Josh's slim waist. He felt the muscles shift as Josh's lips ghosted the air near his nose.

"Trying to be so cool,"

His voice cracked on the last word and Josh's eyes came level with his own, nose bumping his own slightly.

He was too scared to speak, Josh was so close to him he could feel the heat radiating off of him and feel his heart beating rapidly from where his hands were rested on his stomach.

"It's very pretty,"

"Until you get your drums all over it,"

A smile tugged at his lips and Tyler felt himself smile too.

Josh bit his lip and Tyler's eyes were instantly drawn to the movement, hands slipping down to his hips as Josh gently skimmed his thumb near the corner of his lips. Josh was watching his lips too as Tyler dragged his eyes back up.

"I-"

"-Guys? We gotta go, you've got ten minutes to pack everything up and be out,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the frick frack is going on my guys.
> 
> *gayness intensifies*


	7. Vessel [Prologue] (II)

The seventh time he noticed it was too early in the morning and Tyler had no filter and Josh had answered him on practically the first ring.

"J?"

"Ty?"

"I can't sleep,"

"How come?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe I'm super worried about this album and I haven't finished writing the last two songs?"

"Yeah, okay, tone down the sass, its three in the morning,"

Tyler sighed into the phone before saying,

"You don't even sound sleepy, have you been up all night?"

"Same as you I guess. . . Too nervous to sleep,"

Tyler stared at his ceiling and listened to Josh's breathing.

He hadn't seen Josh in three weeks. In two weeks they would meet again to finish recording their album and he couldn't wait. He missed the lulling of the vans rocking and he missed waking up from a nightmare to Josh comforting him, humming something softly in his ear that helped him sleep.

(Or maybe he just missed Josh but he wasn't going to admit that to himself)

"I miss you too Ty,"

 _Oh shit_ , he must've said that out loud.

"You did Ty, and watch your profanity,"

Tyler giggled softly and listened to Josh smiling down the phone.

"Tell me what you're doing,"

"Ty babe, you could at least buy me dinner first,"

Tyler felt his face flush as he stuttered and backtracked,

"Shut-You know that-I didn't mean it, ugh. . . You're mean,"

Josh chuckled and Tyler grew even more hot.

"Well. . . I'm staring at my ceiling, listening to my best friend ramble about how mean I am and smiling and rolling my eyes because he's adorable,"

Tyler scoffed, unimpressed by that statement (and secretly pleased) because Josh was _obviously_ the cute one in their friendship.

"No really, he's got this cute little high pitched voice-"

"-Is not high pitched,"

He mumbled, discreetly trying to make it lower as Josh laughed quietly on the other end.

"Is too, but he's also got these pretty brown eyes and this adorable smile, but he doesn't like it and I'll never know why. He's kind and funny and more sarcastic and sassy then humanly possible,"

Tyler felt his face flare up again and he buried his face in his hands. Josh was the worst. Always complimenting him. He knew how bad Tyler's self esteem was and seemed to have made it his mission to bring it up.

(A small part of Tyler wishes that Josh was saying those things because he was crushing on him, but he knew that was unlikely)

"And I know he's probably got his face in his hands while hearing this because he doesn't believe that he's any of those things. He's too shy and humble to take the compliments,"

"Shut up,"

"Never,"

Tyler grinned, staring back up at the ceiling.

Tyler would never get tired of hearing Josh talk, he could talk all night and Tyler would be fine with it.

"Come over,"

"-dimples, what?"

"In a completely non-sexual way, you _perv_ , come over. I miss you and I wanna cuddle,"

"I'm on the other side of town,"

Tyler bit his lip and listened to Josh breath, humming every so often as though thinking about it.

"Please?"

"Ty-"

"-Tonight, I need you here, I need you to stay,"

He didn't hear anything for a while, just a click as the phone call ended and Tyler stared at the phone in confusion.

He had blown it.

Josh had figured out he was clingy and crushing on him and didn't want to be his friend anymore.

It was gonna be awkward and they wouldn't hang out and Josh hated him.

He's gonna quit the band and break his promise that they made over cereal and _am I crying?_

He felt his face and sure enough it was wet with tears. He rolled back over, throwing his phone onto the floor and took a deep shuddering breath.

Where was he gonna get a drummer now? One that was as good as Josh? One that cared as deeply of the music as Josh?

He couldn't get a Josh.

Josh was Josh and nobody could replace him, not as a drummer, not as a best friend.

 _Ex-Best friend_ , his mind supplied helpfully.

He tried his best to be quiet and not wake his family and let his dark thoughts eat him away because this was it, Josh hated him, the band would fall apart, he wouldn't want anything to do with him and he doesn't know why he bother-

_Tap._

Tyler sat up and looked to the window.

_Tap._

_Tap._

_TapTapTap._

Tyler rubbed his snotty nose and dragged himself off of his bed, slowly creeping to the window.

_Tap._

He peered over the edge to see none other then Josh standing under his window sill, holding a handful of bark as he tossed another up, hot breath puffing out in clouds and mixing with the night.

Tyler slowly and carefully opened his window and grinned down at Josh who went to throw another piece of bark before catching himself and smiling.

" _This isn't some romance movie Joshua_ ,"

He stage whispered out the window, grin growing at Josh's cute pout.

"I was trying to be cute and- _are you crying?_ "

His tone took a worried tone and Tyler felt warmth bubble in his chest at his concern.

"Get up here you idiot, before my mum comes out and attacks you with her broom,"

Josh scrambled up the side of his wrap around porch post, strong arms pulling him up and shimmying onto the veranda.

He slowly walked across it, stopping every so often when there was a creak that was too loud.

"Your mum can't hit me with a broom, you're a grown ass man, you can have a friend over in the middle of the night,"

"Clearly you don't know her well enough then,"

He said with a grin as Josh hoisted himself through the window, ungracefully and leaning into Tyler, almost causing them both to fall over.

Giggling and righting themselves, they stared at each other before flinging themselves into each other's arms.

"I missed you,"

He breathed into Tyler's hair and Tyler just pulled him closer, burying his nose in the dip where Josh's collar bones met.

"Why are you crying Ty?"

"It's dumb,"

He mumbled, _accidentally_ brushing his lips lightly on Josh's warm skin.

"What was that?"

"I thought you hated me, because you realised I'm a clingy mess and was gonna quit the band,"

Josh pulled him tighter to his chest and mumbled,

"Yeah, but I figured that out ages ago,"

Tyler pulled away with a pout, rubbing his running nose on his sleeve before punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Josh had somehow pulled off his vans in the time he had crawled into the window to the time he had been punched by Tyler.

Josh grinned and wrapped his arms around his waist, picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder.

Tyler barely contained his squeal for the sake of his sleeping family and instead started hitting Josh's back repeatedly but softly.

Josh just spun him around before throwing him unceremoniously onto the bed.

"Josh! You'll wake my parents!"

Josh said nothing, grinned like a Cheshire Cat before crawling onto the bed almost on top of him. He hovered above Tyler's face smiling down at him and Tyler suddenly had a weird tugging feeling to do something wild.

Break into the local pool and swim.

Go skating around the silent and dark neighbourhood.

Steal a car and never come back.

Kiss Josh.

What.

No.

_Where did that come from?_

There was a soft knocking

"Tyler? Are you alright honey?"

They looked at the door in alarm, Tyler quickly shoving Josh off of him as they scrambled around to find a hiding place.

"Hide!"

"Where!?"

" _Anywhere_ -!"

"-Tyler, I'm coming in,"

Josh threw himself into the covers of the bed, pulling the duvet up and over his head, fluffing it up and looking nothing more then a clump.

Tyler grinned at his mum, eyes far too awake and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Tyler?"

She asked in that warning tone, (you know the one all mothers are built in with), eyes flicking around the slightly dishevelled state of the room, skimming over the open window before landing back on him, eyebrow raised in question.

"I'm fine, nothing wrong here, just relaxing,"

"It's two in the morning boy, what could you possibly be relaxing for?"

Tyler coughed awkwardly as he felt the bed start shaking and hit the ambiguous Josh lump what he hoped was casually. Josh stopped his laughing.

"Umm, winding down before bed. . . Relaxing?"

Her eyebrow raised further as she moved in to the room, eyeing the cluttered floor and eyes stopping on one particular shoe. Tyler gulped as she narrowed her eyes, before moving to the open window.

"It's freezing Tyler, why have you got the window open?"

"Uh, I was warm, too hot from my covers,"

He meant to make it seem nonchalant, but it ended more like a question. She pulled down the window, brushing a strand of hair from her face as she finished. After wiping her hands she came and sat down next to him, the duvet jerking slightly and Tyler almost cried.

"Are you having people over Tyler?"

"Pff, what? No, what-what would make you think that?"

"The shoes Tyler,"

"Those-They're mine,"

"Tyler, the only things I've ever seen you wear are those _horrible_ floral sneakers. I swear, that if they were turned into a person, you would marry them,"

"Ma-"

"-Don't ' _Ma_ ' me boy, you know you would. And you'd make your weird children wear nothing but floral either now-"

"-Ma-"

"- _Now_ , don't get me started on that horrid shirt, so we will go back to the original question. Are you having people over Tyler?"

"No Ma, I was just-"

"-Are you lonely? Do you have a friend that comes over in the night and you two-"

He felt his eyes widen, face exploding with heat and his voice raise a few octaves as he hurried to cut her off,

"-No Ma! God! Where did you-"

"-Okay! Okay, goodness boy it was just a question. Now get some sleep,"

She kissed him on the head and with a quick goodbye made her way back to her room. But not before poking her head in one more time and saying with a wink,

"Be safe,"

Tyler stared after her with a mortified expression as she giggled herself down the hall.

"Are you lonely Ty? I could always help out,"

"Oh my god,"

Josh poked his head out from under the duvet, just up to his nose and waggled his eyes brows suggestively.

"Come on, who is she? Is she cute, _oh god_ am I interrupting, is she coming over? Should I go?"

"You're the worst,"

They laid there in comfortable silence, Josh occasionally adding a crude comment that would set Tyler's blush off again in full force.

"Let's be rebellious teens,"

"What?"

"I said, let's be rebellious teens,"

Tyler just screwed up his face before giving him a confused smile,

"Dude, we're like, 24 years old, how are we supposed to be rebellious teens?"

Josh shrugged, pushing Tyler down onto the bed and climbing on top of him. Josh sat on his stomach and said,

"I don't know,"

"I mean, you're already here against our parents wishes and-"

"-Let's go on the roof,"

Tyler blinked up at him.

"After we cuddle?"

"After we cuddle,"

Tyler set an alarm for six am, where they could wake up and crawl out of the window to watch the sunrise.

Tyler had crawled into bed after giving Josh some spare clothes to change into, seeing as how he'd only worn his jeans and a massive coat. Tyler watched him as he slowly pulled off the coat, eyes locked on Tyler's.

Tyler swallowed as it fell to the ground with a soft thud, exposing his soft tanned skin, before Josh was unbuckling his belt. He let the leather run through his hands before dropping it to the ground, joining the jacket.

Tyler's eyes skimmed Josh's chest and the beginnings of his tattoo, before sliding his eyes down across his stomach to his hands, unbuttoning his sinfully tight jeans. He pulled down the zip almost too slowly, before hooking his thumbs in the waist band and pulling them down too.

Tyler flicked his eyes back up to Josh to see him looking to the side, biting his lip anxiously. Tyler watched him hurriedly kick them off, stumbling to pull the sweatpants on.

Before Tyler knew what he was doing, he was up and out of the covers, standing in front of Josh, hand reaching out to his chin. He slowly brought Josh's face round to face him and Josh looked at him with curious eyes.

Tyler took a small step forward, closing the space so there was about three centimetres in between them. He dropped his hand to the hem of his shirt and slowly rucked it up, pulling it over his head. Josh's eyes widened, his gaze soon travelling over the expanse of Tyler's chest, skimming over his tattoos and his stomach before shyly meeting his eyes.

Tyler didn't _know_ what he was doing, what his hands were doing, but Josh wasn't protesting so he let his body do it's own thing, his mind only focused on Josh.

He gently reached out to Josh and grabbed his wrists, slowly pulling them up and around his shoulders, effectively bringing their chests together and closing the space. Tyler let his arms drop, moving to wrap his arms around Josh's slim waist, hands resting in the dip of Josh's spine.

He dragged Josh's hips closer, bringing the lower half of their bodies together, sliding his thigh just in between Josh's legs. He heard Josh gulp and could feel the heat rushing off of him. Tyler tightened his grip on Josh's hips, to stop himself from bucking into Josh.

He rested their heads together and stood still like that for what could have been hours and minutes and days all together.

His hands skimmed down, resting on Josh's hips, before pulling them closer, (if that was even _possible_ ), mouth parting as he took a step back. Their chests slid as he stepped back again, spinning Josh around so he was backwards to the bed.

Tyler moved them back, Josh tightening his arms around Tyler's neck as his legs hit the back of the bed.

Tyler trailed his hands up Josh's side, watching the man shiver (from the cold, the window was open for a good fifteen minutes _obviously_ ) and removed his arms from around his neck.

Josh tilted his head and Tyler offered a small smile before pushing him backwards. His back hit the mattress with a soft grunt before he was smiling up at him. Tyler smiled down as Josh wriggled back slightly, arms propping him up.

Their legs were still in between each other's as Tyler placed a knee near Josh crotch, hands holding him up and over Josh's stomach as he stared into Josh's eyes. He brought the other leg up effectively straddling his thigh and brought his face closer to Josh's own.

Josh laid down, head on the pillow and Tyler hovered over him, mouth ghosting over his nose.

He reached up to Tyler's bare hips, pulling them down over the top of his own and Tyler had to bite his lip to keep from moaning.

 _That is definitely not what you do with your best friend Tyler_.

Tyler's eyes found their way to Josh's lips and he realised that he could most definitely lean down and press his own to meet them.

_But that is definitely what you don't do Tyler._

So to stop himself for doing something he was going to regret, he reached behind him and pulled the cover up and over them, rolling off of Josh in the process.

Now that he wasn't in the immediate reach of Josh his brain started going a mile a minute, too many thoughts, then just one, so he looked back over at Josh.

Josh who was pouting and had his arms outstretched, hands making grabby motions. Tyler rolled his eyes and let himself be pulled into Josh's embrace.

Tyler buried his nose in the crook of Josh's neck, feeling the steady (if a little fast) thump of his heart and felt strong warm arms hold him against him, pressing their chests together. Tyler rested a hand over Josh's heart, the other holding onto his hip and Tyler sighed, suddenly feeling the sleepy calm of Josh's scent fall over him.

He fell asleep in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE RETURNED WITH AN ACTUAL EDITED VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> *party streamers and balloons fall from my air vent*
> 
> And party streamers and balloons for a different reason;
> 
> 100 FREAKING KUDOS????!!!?!?! 
> 
> WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS!???!!!
> 
> No but seriously, thank you all so much for reading and even patiently waiting for me to upload new chapters. It means so very much to me that you all like my story so much!!
> 
> :)
> 
> There is one on the way, but I'm not sure which direction I want it to go.
> 
> SO IF YOU ARE STILL READING,
> 
> WOULD YOU LIKE JENNA TO COME INTO THE STORY??
> 
> OR DO YOU JUST WANT JOSH AND TYLER TO GET THE FRICK TOGETHER??
> 
> Comment to let me know. . .


	8. Vessel (I)

The eighth time, Josh had fallen asleep. Not for very long though.

They were back in a shitty hotel on their drive to stupid Fueled by Ramen's studio in stupid New York.

Josh had only just fallen asleep, Tyler knew because one minute he was actively chatting away and suddenly he slurred out an odd mixture of words before he had passed out.

He deserved it, Tyler thought, the bags under his eyes said he did.

He had his keyboard on his lap once again, practicing it one more time before he crawled into the bad double bed next to Josh's sleeping form.

He watched the way the light sparkled off his cheekbones from the moons rays and smiled softly as all his little freckles came into view.

He shouldn't think about Josh the way he did.

He shouldn't.

But he couldn't stop.

The way Josh moved when he played the drums, the way he arched his back when he back flipped off of his piano, the way the sweat would cover his biceps, the way his eyes would shine in the stage lights, all honey and molten gold.

It was irresistible and Josh didn't even know it.

Tyler looked at the washed out glow of his more silver-then-blue hair, mussed and messy from sleep in the soft moonlight.

He looked at the way Josh's eyelids fluttered with dreams and imagination. The way his eyelashes fluttered, making soft shadows on his soft cheeks.

He looked at Josh's big nose, that wouldn't fit anyone else, but fit him perfectly (despite all the teasing about it he did, he actually wouldn't have Josh any other way).

He looked at the tiny freckles that were sprinkled across his nose and cheekbones, like little constellations of little tiny stars that had lost their way to the sky and found something equally as beautiful and nestled their way in the plains of Josh's face.

His soft pink lips were slightly parted, warm breath ghosting Tyler's face.

He followed the way his skin twisted on his frame, covering collarbones and stretching over rib cages, flowing with ink on his right arm.

Tyler knew he shouldn't be staring.

He knew.

But was he not allowed to appreciate beauty?

It's not like he felt the need to run his hands over the skin that twisted over his bones. It's not like he wanted to feel those lips pressed against his own, and the skin of his throat. It's not like he wanted to press his own lips to Josh's soft cheek, or his cute nose, or his hair. It's not like he just wanted Josh to wake up and look at him with a sleepy smile, before pulling him against his chest with his strong arms so that they could just stare into each other's eyes as the sun rose.

He just wanted to appreciate Josh's beauty, no emotions attached.

But he was.

He was attached. Very much so in fact.

After all, they were best friends. The best.

His eyes returned to Josh's closed ones, noticing a downward tilt to his eyebrows. His lips had downturned also, his breathing coming a little faster.

"Josh?"

It did nothing to soothe him. He started to shake.

"Josh? Josh, dude, wake up,"

His breathing got quicker and he scrunched up his face, in what would've been an adorable way, had it not been the thin sheen of sweat that was now on his forehead and the terror the expression held.

This went on for a while, Tyler's heart clenching painfully as he watched on, unable to help.

Finally Josh bolted upright, hands clenching the bed sheet as he frantically searched the room.

Tyler tentatively sat in front of him, hands raised slightly as he said soothing words to Josh.

He gently, so, so gently cupped Josh jaw, making sure that he looked at him.

"You're okay Josh, I'm here, everything's fine okay?"

Tyler brushed away the tears falling from his eyes and barely had time to catch him as he slumped forward.

Tyler gently turned him around before lowering his head onto his lap.

Josh squinched his eyes shut as his breathing picked up again and Tyler gently carded his fingers through Josh's soft hair.

He very carefully untangled knots, tugging occasionally here and there, trailing his fingers down the shaved sides. He pushed the hair back, pulling a few stray strands as he watched Josh begin to relax.

Tyler started singing a soft tune, it may have been The Backstreet Boys.

He watched as Josh smiled, breathing coming slower and eyelids becoming relaxed.

"Tell me why, ain't nothing but a heartache.  
Tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake.  
Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say-ay-ay,  
'I want it that way',"

Josh laughed quietly, a hand coming up to gently graze Tyler's cheekbone, molten eyes finally open.

"Thank you Ty. . . You didn't have to,"

"But you always help me, it's the least I could do,"

Josh was quiet at that, hand still pressing against Tyler's cheek, Tyler's hands still carding through his hair.

How do I make Josh happy? His fingers gently continued their work, all tangles gone by the time he figured out his plan.

"Let's dye your hair Jish,"

Josh raised an eyebrow. Tyler grinned,

"But you have to let me pick,"

 

  
"Keep your hands over you eyes Jish!"

He had Josh's hand in his own (he was not noticing the calluses from drumming and the way he would squeeze his hand and watch Josh smile and squeeze it back), they were bundled up in coats, the bite of autumn something they weren't quiet used to yet.

Josh laughed as he stumbled down the isle, hand placed over his eyes and a grin on his features. Tyler knew what colour dye he was getting. He'd known it since Josh had started dying his hair.

He reached out and got it, collecting the bleach and putting it in the basket.

"Okay hands off, grab whatever else you need, I've got the dye and the bleach,"

Josh give him a playful suspicious look and reached for a bowl and brush kit. He then tugged Tyler's hand so they could move down the isle, Tyler once again being reminded that their hands were clasped.

"-Ty!"

"Sorry, what?"

Josh grinned and shook his head fondly.

"I said, you dreamer-"

He booped his nose with a finger and Tyler scrunched up his face, willing the blush to remove itself from his life.

"-how intense did you want the colour?"

Tyler then thought.

"Sort of, but not really,"

Josh rolled his eyes and reached for the conditioner, mumbling something along the lines of,

"For a poet, you're not very good at words,"

To which Tyler punched him. Josh dodged, with a wink, but refused to let their hands drop.

They collected gloves and red bulls and candy, to keep them going.

And walked up to the counter where a very bored employee perked up slightly.

He couldn't have been older then they were, blonde hair styled in a messy bun, green eyes tired and smile friendly.

He looked down at their linked hands, blinked and then smiled brighter.

"Hey guys, just these for today?"

"I want to say yes, but frankly I'm scared,"

He raised an eyebrow and began scanning the items.

"Eyes closed!"

"Ty-"

Tyler pressed his hands to Josh's eyes, who took a step back in surprise at being attacked. Tyler turned slightly when he heard the employee laugh quietly.

"I take it he doesn't know what colour he's getting?"

Tyler nodded with a big fond grin on his face as Josh pouted.

"Nope!"

Tyler popped the 'P' and watched as the cashier, whose name tag read Jacob, picked up the dye and giggled.

"Good colour,"

"Thank you,"

Josh whined as Tyler smiled smugly.

Tyler collected the plastic bags and sprinted out of the store, bags held close to his chest as Josh payed, rolling his eyes.

The store clerk grinned and started talking to him, motioning to where Tyler had escaped to. Josh then dropped his wallet, face heating up as Jacob smirked. Josh shook his head and laughed. Jacob smiled sadly before nodding to Tyler again and doing a weird gesture. Josh shook his head.

Josh then waved goodbye and practically bolted from the store, meeting Tyler who had a curious expression on his face.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, don't worry,"

And then Josh lurched forward, reaching for the bag, Tyler dodging just in time, turning to run.

Josh's arms snaked around his waist, effectively getting him to stop running.

Tyler held his breath as his back hit Josh's chest, everything pressed against his body. He felt Josh's hand slowly snake it's way, reaching for the bag of products before Tyler held it at arms length.

He felt every breath Josh breathed, his chest rising and falling, his hot breath against his neck, making his hair stand up. Goosebumps rose on his skin as Josh whispered in his ear.

"You're being difficult Ty-Guy,"

Tyler gulped as Josh's left hand slipped slowly, so, so slowly to his hip, slipping its way into his belt loop and Tyler closed his eyes.

"So what are you gonna do?"

He asked breathlessly. Josh hummed in his ear, lips gently brushing against the skin under it, before pulling away.

Tyler tried not to whine as Josh moved away, until Josh was in front of him, hooking a finger in his belt loop once again and dragging him across the parking lot.

"Trust you,"

  
"Ty-!"

Tyler grinned as the dye splashed on his shirt.

"Then why don't you take it off?"

"Maybe I will,"

And suddenly there was very intense eye contact as Josh slowly and carefully pulled his shirt up and over his head, exposing the pale expanse of his torso.

Tyler raised an eyebrow and suddenly they were both in fits of laughter, hair dye smothering everywhere, all over Josh's chest and Tyler's face and neck.

"Come on, come on, we-we need to finish it,"

"You're right, you're. . ."

And they were off again.

  
"Three, two, one. . ."

Tyler removed his hands from Josh's eyes and looked at his reaction in the mirror.

His eyes widened and his mouth formed a cute little o shape as he gently reached up to touch it.

Bright pink.

His hair was bright pink, almost as though a fairy had thrown up on his head.

"Wow,"

"Wow?"

Tyler asked smugly. He could see Josh smile in the mirror, eyes squinching happily and mouth hanging in a look of surprise.

"Pink,"

"Mmhmm,"

"My hair is pink,"

Tyler blushed slightly as Josh's gaze turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"You were sad and I uh, thought this would make you happier?"

Josh's face softened and he grabbed Tyler's hand, pulling him to his hard chest. He then buried his face in the crook of Tyler's neck whispering thank you.

Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh, burying his own nose in Josh's soft, pink curls.

And before he could convince himself not to, he pressed his lips to Josh's forehead.

Josh looked up at him through his long eye lashes and smiled softly.

He pulled them gently toward the bed, eyes remaining on each other with happy, sleepy smiles.

They clambered into bed, the sheets lazily tangled between their legs as they laid facing each other.

Tyler sighed in content when Josh draped an arm around his waist, dragging him closer. Tyler snaked his arms around Josh's neck, lazily clasping his hands.

He brought the hand that was rested on Josh's neck to gently brush some of the hair out of his eyes. He would twirl his finger around it and run his fingers through it.

Josh's eyes closed after a while, before Tyler tugged on it gently.

What he wasn't expecting was a startled moan from Josh's lips.

"Sorry,"

He said with a full blown blush. They were silent after Tyler told him it was okay, willing the faint pull of whatever that sound did to his mind to go the fuck away.

Tyler bit his lip and pulled Josh's hair again, slightly harder and watched as Josh bit his own lip. Tyler giggled to himself, before blushing when Josh pulled their lower halves together, a look of challenge in his eyes.

Tyler ran his hands once again through Josh's hair, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging every once in a while.

Josh trailed his hands softly up Tyler's sides, fingers barely ghosting the olive skin there. His arms winded up to his shoulder blades, before lightly dragging his fingernails all the way to the small of his back. Tyler shivered and watched as Josh got a slight smug tone to his smile.

He then dragged his fingernails back up, surprising Tyler by quickly grabbing his hips. But Tyler beat him to it, sliding a leg in between his thighs. Tyler raised an eyebrow in challenge and Josh pressed him into the mattress, hovering over him.

Josh raised both his brows, almost as though saying; "Your turn".

Tyler moved his hands away from Josh hair, trailing them down his back, occasionally using his fingernails too. His hands stopped on Josh's waist, gently pulling them down to meet his own.

Your turn.

Josh slowly leaned down, his head hovering in the middle of Tyler's chest, soft breath fanning across his skin. Tyler felt his breath hitch as Josh's lips brushed his collarbone, grazed his neck. He could feel Josh smiling into the crook of his neck.

But Tyler would get the last laugh, grabbing a handful of hair at the back of his head and tugging particularly hard.

Josh's head shot back, eyes closing and mouth falling open, exposing his neck in a soft moan.

"Hair pulling huh?"

Josh blushed, shoving his giggling friend away, sitting on top of him and hitting him repeatedly with a pillow while letting out a long suffering whine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trash and I'm sad about David Bowie and I tried to make myself better as I cried listening to Space Oddity today and I'm still sad but with a hopeful undertone.
> 
> i am also very sorry this took so long to write, I've had a rough life the past couple of whatever, but I hope this makes y'all happy
> 
> Also, I want Lin Manuel Miranda to slit my throat while either roasting me in a rap or singing We Know The Way from Moana i haven't decided yet.


	9. Vessel (II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK?
> 
> Not me.
> 
> I saw Panic! the other day.
> 
> Girls/Girls/Boys destroyed me. I'll never be the same, again.
> 
> I cried during Crazy=Genius.
> 
> I don't know what to do with my life any more. How do you live in a post "Being in the same room as Brendon Boyd Urie" World??
> 
> The world might never know.
> 
> But anyway.
> 
> Enjoy your gays you nerds.
> 
>  
> 
> While I go and sob violently.

The ninth time, Tyler confronted him about it.

They'd gotten a lot closer since that night. They now talked to each other about anything and everything and even nothing at all. They hugged more often, played with each other's hair lazily, sat thigh to thigh during interviews or just on the bus couch (Tyler still couldn't believe they were big enough to warrant a _bus_!), even if there was lots of room.

At night sometimes when either one of them had nightmares, they'd reach for each other's hands from their respective bunks.

Tyler would wake up in a cold sweat and claw at the curtain to move to already see Josh's hand hanging down, making grabby motions.

Tyler would slip his hand into Josh's, intertwining their fingers and feeling instantly more relaxed.

When it was particularly bad, Tyler would get out and stand at Josh's bunk above his and move Josh's curtain. He would turn, take one look and shuffle over, Tyler effortlessly crawling in beside him.

He'd lay on Josh's outstretched arm, body half on Josh (he told himself it was because the bunks were too _small_ for them _both_ ) and head tucked in Josh's neck.

Josh would wrap the arm Tyler laid on around his middle, pressing them closer and the other hand would card through his hair. Occasionally he'd press his lips to Tyler's hair or forehead in the hopes to calm him down.

And Tyler in return would say _I'm okay_ or _thank you_ with his lips squashed agains Josh's pulse.

But occasionally, it would be the other way around. Josh reaching for his hand and gripping onto it. Josh crawling into Tyler's bunk trying to brush away the tears as fast as they came.

Tyler would run his hands through Josh's now purple hair and press a kiss to Josh's nose or forehead and this was normal between them now. It was just a way to calm the other one down.

It was always gentle and soft, sometimes hesitant but they were too beyond that now.

Sometimes they just did it when they couldn't sleep. The two boys ending up in the others bed more often then not, almost as though they couldn't sleep unless they knew the other was close.

(Tyler couldn't actually remember the last time they slept at any time where the other _wasn't_ touching them in some way).

Mark liked to joke that they just couldn't be even a foot apart because they just couldn't live without each other, otherwise they'd die or the world would end or something as equally catastrophic.

(Mark didn't know how much Tyler actually needed Josh and no matter what Tyler did, no matter what he tried to tell himself, he was falling in _love_ with Josh. If he ignored it, it would go away, because Josh wouldn't _ever_ like him like that)

So when Josh was breathing heavily and whimpering but made no move to get down or seek any comfort in Tyler, he knew something was up.

"Joshy? Are you alright?"

No response except a strangled gasp and that was it. Tyler was up and out of his bunk, scraping the curtains back to reveal Josh stiff as a board and covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Josh, come on, come here."

"T-Ty?"

His voice mumbled, laced with fear and small.

"Yeah, it's me, come on,"

He tugged on Josh's arm which finally made him move, stumbling out and tripping into Tyler's chest. Tyler caught him with an oof, before stumbling over to the couch and dropping him gently. He sat down next to him. He wasn't prepared for Josh jumping into his lap and holding his shirt by the collar. He pressed his face into Tyler's neck, tears wetting his neck and shirt.

Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh, patting the back of his head to soothe down the damp tufts.

"Shh, you're okay Josh, you'll be fine."

He whimpered and Tyler wrapped Josh's legs around his waist.

"Tell me what's wrong Jish-"

Josh shook his head so quickly Tyler thought his head was going to fall off. He unwrapped his arms and held Josh's head cupping his cheek and holding his chin.

"Please Josh? Just tell me what happened in your dream at least?"

"I-I can't Ty, not-not yet _please_ -"

He buried his head once again in Tylers neck, sobbing quietly.

"Please Josh, if it's hurting you I want to help-"

"-There's nothing you can do Tyler, what's done is done, I-I-"

Tyler cut him off by pressing his lips to Josh's cheek.

"We'll talk about it one day alright?"

Josh tentatively nodded, knocking his nose into Tyler's. Tyler smiled softly and knocked his nose back, watching Josh's watery smile.

"Ty-"

Tyler pressed a kiss to his cheek, then to his other cheek, to his nose, to his glabella, to his forehead and his temples and Josh was trying to push him away while giggling.

"S-Stop, you loser."

He sniffed and wiped his nose and looked Tyler's shirt. He pouted slightly and Tyler couldn't help but think that was the cutest thing he's ever seen.

"Sorry, your shirts all-"

"-It's fine Jishwa, as long as you're alright?"

Josh nodded his head, ducking his head shyly. Tyler raised an eyebrow, before looking down also. They were still wrapped completely in each other and Tyler blushed.

Josh started to climb off, but something within Tyler made him stop. Made his hands stay on Josh's hips. Made him keep eye contact with Josh's confused look. Made him lay down and pull Josh on top of him. Made Josh lay between his legs.

And Tyler guesses the same thing made Josh bury his face in the crook of Tyler's neck, lips pressed against collarbone. The same thing that made him intwine his hand in Tyler's that was hanging off the cramped couch.

The same thing that tied them both together in that moment of complete understanding that for each other, they're enough.

That this is enough.

At least for now.

(And if Mark stumbled out of his bunk Michael in tow and took a sneaky photo of them with identical smirks, well, how were Josh and Tyler going to know?)


	10. Vessel (III)

The tenth time, Tyler definitely notices.

The bags under his caramel eyes were too dark, his cheek bones were slightly protuding, his skin seemed dull. He didn't look like he was having as much fun as he was.

And he doesn't know how to help.

Tyler can really see it during the one obligation they have to do.

 _Interviews_.

Josh is quiet during interviews, will speak up when something is directed his way or has something funny he'd like to add. Or even just wants to give his opinion of the album.

But lately he's been more irritable, less eager to do interviews and even less willing to be _patient_ with them.

Even less so when they're not sitting together, or are being interviewed separately.

At least then Tyler can throw an arm over the back of the couch " _accidentally_ " bringing himself closer in the hopes of calming Josh down (it works). Or even joke around by leaning up against him or placing a hand on his knee and shaking it (both of those work too). Tyler even just looks to Josh when he talks and Josh will chill even for a couple of seconds.

But even with all of those things, he doesn't know what to do. He can read Josh in a way no one else can. Can pick up even the most imperceptible things. A twitch of the hands, a second too late reaction to a joke, a small glance to Tyler like a tiny plea.

So Tyler _needs_ to talk to someone about it.

And seeing as Josh is usually the person he tells everything to, Mark will have to do.

"Mark?"

He made a noise of acknowledgement, not looking up from fiddling with his camera.

"I need help with Josh."

Marks head whipped up and he sighed, setting the camera down on the table and staring at it.

"You've noticed too huh?"

"How could I not?"

Mark laughed softly and shook his head like he knew something. Tyler narrowed his eyes, but let it slide.

Josh was the most important person at the moment (at every moment).

"I don't know how to help him."

Tyler mumbled, shuffling his feet and fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. Mark shuffled over and tapped the space next to him, gesturing to take a seat.

"Josh is. . . Josh is Josh. There's no other way of putting it. He got tattoos and piercings and dyed his hair to scare people off. He thinks he's fat despite having a v line. He drums harder the more nervous he is because it's better than shaking.

"You obviously know all of that-" _Tyler obviously did_ , "-so you would know Josh the most. Know what was associated to what and how his nervous habits began."

Tyler nodded. They spend every moment together. It's impossible not to. It's like a gravitational pull toward each other. They just know where the other is, from across the venue, from across the state.

They know exactly what the other person is thinking with a single glance. They know where the other is going despite not making plans prior.

Which was why Tyler was so distraught on why he couldn't help Josh now.

"-calm him down."

Tyler shook his head to get out of his rampaging thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

" _You calm him down_."

That earned Mark a look, to which he did the most exaggerated eye roll Tyler had ever seen.

"You calm him down. He's less passive aggressive during interviews if you're sitting next to him. Less agitated when you put a hand on his knee. Actually he's generally more comfortable when he's even just in your presence."

This wasn't news to Tyler. But he still didn't get what Mark was asking him to do.

"You'll figure it out Tyler."

And with that he stood up and went to a bunk, stumbling back to grab his camera to fiddle some more.

So Tyler did some thinking.

And he came up with a system.

 _Step One_ : Don't move away from Josh. (this means stick to his side, if the couch is big, sit next to him, if they're plastic chairs, put them next to each other, if they're sitting on the floor, make sure almost every part of them that could touch, would touch, even if Josh got mad at him, he would do his best)

 _Step Two_ : Include Josh. (get Josh talking to him. When asked a question, Tyler himself turns to Josh and asks the same thing. That way, Josh talks to him, like they're just talking to each other, not to some random stranger)

 _Step Three_ : Have Banter. (get Josh to laugh, make him comfortable, insult him, point out that Tyler is the lead singer)

 _Step Four_ : Touch Josh. (if shit looks like it's hitting the fan and Josh is going to leave, throw an arm around him, ruffle his hair, hold his thigh, touch him in any way)

It may not have made Josh be able to sleep.

But at least now he wouldn't punch out an Interviewer.

When Josh turned his back to Tyler in the venue, Tyler sighed.

"Come on Joshie, we've gotta do this, it's good promo!"

"Don't wanna."

Tyler resisted the urge to roll his eyes, even if Josh couldn't see. So he decided on another tactic.

"Josh," he whined, voice high.

Josh tensed when he felt Tyler's hand on his shoulders. He sat down behind Josh, fingers gently gliding over his shoulders, scaling down his sides, resting on his hips.

" _Josh_ ," Tyler whined again, voice holding that sing-song tone.

Josh stiffened and Tyler carefully wrapped his arms around Josh's waist, rubbing small circles into his flat stomach.

He rested his head atop Josh shoulder, face turned so that Tyler was breathing on his neck softly. Josh shifted in Tyler's hold, leaning back slightly.

"No."

"Please?" Tyler asked faux innocently, nuzzling his best friend's neck and feeling him shutter, though he tried to hide it. Tyler grinned because his nose was cold from the cool day.

"This isn't _fair_ Ty-"

Josh broke off with a sucked in breath as Tyler's lips brushed his neck. They ghosted over the skin there, brushing up to the back of his ear.

Tyler had closed his eyes as he did so, not thinking, mind only filled with _joshjoshjosh_. He smelled like sweat and soap, tangy and sweet. He gets this one moment, he allows himself to be selfish just this once as Josh presses himself flat against Tyler's chest, barring his neck slightly.

Tyler runs his nose across his neck and says softly into his skin, lips occasionally brushing his skin making Josh shiver.

"Just one?"

Josh nods imperceptibly, but neither of them move. Josh's hands curl around Tyler's, holding them to his stomach. He occasionally trails his hands up Tyler's arms, sighing softly every time Tyler's lips accidentally press against his skin.

In fact, they don't move from that position for a while. Up until they get a knock on the door from Daniel that the interview is in ten minutes.

And even _then_ they find it hard to tear themselves away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when is the album???? like???
> 
> IF I CAN LIVE THROUGH THIS  
> I CAN DO ANYTHING
> 
> CHAMPION DESTROYED ME, I SPENT FORTY MINUTES CRYING AFTER I HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME MAN DID I NEED THOSE LYRICS TODAY
> 
> BRENDON IN KINKY BOOTS  
> MY FAVOURITE MAN  
> IN MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE MUSICAL  
> THAT MOVIE HELPED ME COME TO TERMS WITH WHO I WAS  
> AND THE MAN THAT HELPED ME DO THAT TOO?  
> WHAT AN EXPERIENCE
> 
> PARAMORES NEW ALBUM  
> I RELATE TOO MUCH TO CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE  
> "I DONT NEED NO HELP, I CAN SABOTAGE ME BY MYSELF"
> 
> HALSEYS NEW ALBUM  
> FRIIIIIIICK MY DUDES, IM NOT EVEN READY TO TALK ABOUT THAT
> 
> BLACKPINK DROPPED A NEW SONG LATS NIGHT AND RUINED MY LIFE
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> COMMENT DOWN BELLOW WHAT MADE YOU HAPPY THIS MONTH
> 
> ALSO WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE THE BOYS DO
> 
> AND HAPPY PRIDE MONTH


End file.
